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Pooh Taglines
By Robert Adams
* "Bother," said Pooh as he
continued machinegunning the life rafts.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he adjusted Tigger's
head on the trophy wall.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he clubbed another baby
Harp seal.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he heard the trip wire
click.
* "Bother," said Pooh, lobbing a fragmentation
grenade into the nursery.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he poured carcinogens
into the city water supply.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he reacquired the
fleeing target.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he beat the bound and
helpless victim.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ran the redlight.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he passed around the
joint.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he flashed a group of
nuns.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he turned a mouse loose
in the maternity ward.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he slipped his date a
Mickey Finn.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he triggered the burglar
alarm.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he mugged the little old
lady.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sniffed another tube
of glue.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he stuffed another
bullfrog in the blender.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he strafed the refugee
congested highway.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he snorted another line.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he gave the broker
inside information.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he pledged "Ein
Volk. Ein Reich. Ein Bubba."
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sprayed the
playground with gunfire.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he got stoned with Bill
Clinton.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he borrowed O.J.'s White
Bronco for a few hours.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ate the baby's candy.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he handed Teddy Kennedy
the crib sheet.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he slipped the traffic
cop a bribe.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he called in an
airstrike.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he locked weapons
systems onto the hapless 747.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he finished shooting up.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he directed traffic onto
the dead-end street.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he handed the cashier a
forged check.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he passed around the
Ripple Blanc.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sold his life story
to Oliver Stone.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ignored the white
flag and ordered "Open Fire!".
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ordered "Fix
Bayonets!"
* "Bother," said Pooh as he tapped out a false
distress signal.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he torched the grammar
school.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he fenced the previous
night's take.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he slapped a fresh clip
into the smoking Uzi.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ran another load of
bootleg whiskey.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he took another swing at
Reginald Denny.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he banked the Heinkel HE-111
towards London.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he kneecapped the
informer.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he gunned the truck
towards the Marine barracks.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he pressed the bomb
release.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he boobytrapped the
ambulance.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he poured Ipecac into
the relief food supplies.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he shook down the
shopkeeper.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he made the Godfather an
offer he couldn't refuse.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he lit the fuze.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he poured Zyklon-B into
the ventilation system.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he punched holes in a
shipment of condoms.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he poured grease onto
the interstate.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he blew the doors off
the Brink's truck.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he cut and paste the
ransom demand.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he falsified his income
tax return.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he testified O.J. was
with him all night.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he yanked the
guillotine's lanyard.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he saw Christopher Robin
go down the third time.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he pushed Christopher
Robin into the quicksand.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was arrested for non-support.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he loaded a bomb onto
the airplane.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sabotaged the power
station.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he called in a false
fire alarm.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sabotaged the
elevator cable.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he tagged 'Roo Sucks For
Free' on the water tower.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he left O.J.'s White
Bronco on the street.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he shot another Spotted
Owl.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he fried up a panful of
Snail Darters.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he dropped another white
rhino.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he wrote another speech
for Jocelyn Elders.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he set the crosshairs on
President Clinton.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he pushed Christopher
Robin over the cliff.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he broke into the bank
vault.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he cut down another
giant Sequoia.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he told the girl his
wife didn't understand him.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he substituted Ipecac
for Folger Crystals.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ordered Mr. Worff to
fire all phasers.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he tossed a bloody glove
behind Kato's poolhouse.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ushered the starlet
towards the casting couch.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he made another laundry
run to Grand Cayman.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he tried on Hillary's
bra and panties.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he cheated on his wife.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he slipped his date a
Purple Microdot.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he scored a quarter
pound.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he led a group of
illegals across the border.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he dropped a load of
napalm on the village.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he slashed the
ambulance's tires.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he mined the hospital
parking lot.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he distributed
cigarettes in the Coronary ICU.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he delivered another
load of pirated videos.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he peered through the
girl's locker room peephole.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was read his Miranda
Rights.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was arraigned for
necrophilia.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he forged Christopher
Robin's suicide note.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he framed O.J. Simpson.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was arrested for
indecent exposure.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sapped the bank guard.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he seduced Christopher
Robin's mother.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he torched the rain
forest.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he depleted the ozone
layer.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he rolled over and asked
Nicole for a cigarette.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he set the Doomsday
Machine for next Tuesday.
* "Bother," said Pooh as his U-Boat sank another
hospital ship.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he lured the young girl
into the bushes.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he date-raped Gloria
Steinem
* "Bother," said Pooh as he wished everyone a
Happy Yom Kippur.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he wished everyone a
Happy Pearl Harbor day.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was caught playing
with himself.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he led his VC patrol
through the wire.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he rolled another joint
for the President.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he gave Ted Kennedy
another driving lesson.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he held up the 7-11.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sold crack in the
school yard.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he worshipped &
groveled at his Dominatrix's feet.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he manufactured another
bomb for the IRA.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he found his old SS
uniform still fit.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he stalked Lover's Lane.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he substituted Zyklon-B
for Folger's Crystals.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he suffered the
'Heartbreak of Psoriasis'.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he realized Suave
Shampoo was giving him frizzies.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he found Head &
Shoulder didn't do Legs & Torsos.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was bitten by his
date's living bra.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he flunked the the
sobriety test.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he told the judge he was
an endangered species.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he hotwired the getaway
car.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he thumbed through his
father's magazines.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he put pinholes in his
father's condoms.
* "Bother," said Pooh as Camille Paglia groveled
at his feet.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he finished editing
Jeffrey Dahmer's cookbook.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he swapped recipes with
Hannibal Lector.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he rolled over and
ordered Hillary to get munchies.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he issued speeding
tickets at the Indy 500.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he coached Anita Hill on
how to lie under oath.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he heard, "Will the
Defendant please rise."
* "Bother," said Pooh as he coached Saddam
Hussein on military strategy.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he coached Hill-Billy on
acting 'Presidential'.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he once again perjured
himself.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he lied, "Yes, I'll
respect you in the morning."
* "Bother," said Pooh as he got off the plane in
Medelin.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he sold nuclear secrets
to the Russians.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he fondled the drugged
and helpless girl.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he hawked 'Saturday
Night Specials' in the ghetto.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he converted the hunting
rifle to automatic fire.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he dropped Bambi's
mother with a single shot.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he arrested for welfare
fraud.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he counseled Bill on how
to dodge the draft.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he prepared Christopher
Robin for human sacrifice.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he threw the pin and
dropped the grenade.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he evicted the aged
widow on Christmas Eve.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he handed out Exlax as
treats on Halloween.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he whispered to Connie
Chung he was "Deep Throat".
* "Bother," said Pooh as he admitted being the
Lindbergh kidnapper.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was indicted for tax
evasion.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he ordered another
assault on the nursery.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he plagarized another
speech for Joe Biden.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he swore allegiance to
the Nation of Islam.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he was indicted for
pandering.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he purchased cigarettes
for a group of minors.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he lauded Sam Donaldson
for objective reporting.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he beared his soul to
the world.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he admitted being
Oswald's accomplice.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he stuck a pin in
Hillary's implants.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he gave Chelsea beauty
lessons.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he introduced Bill at
the Watt's VFW post.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he admitted framing
Tonya Harding.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he shooed his girls out
to the streets.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he flew to Sweden for a
sex change.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he planted Flowers in
the Oval Office.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he gave Ozzie Osborne
diction lessons.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he decorated the nursery
with lead paint.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he recommended Boris
Yelstin for the Nobel Prize.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he rolled over and
smacked Fergie's bottom.
* "Bother," said Pooh as he tried on his new
Rooskin coat.